Category Archives: Life
Weird Fact: Cats Like Their Butts Spanked.

I’m sure there’s a reason for it that I won’t bother to look up. It’s not that I’m “lazy” I just refuse a logical explanation other than, “Cat’s are weird.” Now I’M not weird, I was watching a sitcom a few years ago (no idea what the show was…) one broke girl was talking to her friend who was also broke, mentioned the phenomenon. I was skeptical. I’m always skeptical.

I have three cats of various ages, backgrounds, and temperament. I did a weird experiment, and yes, I felt very strange for doing this; I spanked their little fluffy butts. Long story short: I’m their queen now (edit: I spelled “slave” wrong). Each one LOVED having their butt spanked/patted/whatever. It’s weird. I don’t want to delve into it.

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Spin Class for your FACE!

Okay, that sounds kind of gross… it’s not what I’m talking about. Nothing you think is what I’m talking about. How do I know this? Because most things I think are abstract and FAR from what people assume I’m thinking.

SPIN!!!!!!!!!!! GIRO!!!!!!!!! My FACE!!! The other month I was applying make-up and realized that my skin was a little haggard, worn, not my norm. Yes, we all get older, I live in Texas, and who knows what else could be causing my skin to feel and look tired and worn. Maybe it’s the current admin that’s stressing me out and aging me faster than I would have liked (sorry, no politics in this post starting… … UGH! I HATE THAT BABY HAND NARCISSISTIC TOTALITARIAN EGOTISTICAL ELITIST CON ARTIST!!!… starting now.

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Fall Broadcast Line Up 2017/2018

Sunday

Bold type are new shows.

ABC

7: AMERICA’S FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS — More clips of pet shenanigans, groin injuries and other indignities.

8: TO TELL THE TRUTH — Celebrity guessing-game show. 

9: SHARK TANK — Entrepreneurs pitch their dreams to rich people. 

10: TEN DAYS IN THE VALLEY — Kyra Sedgwick plays a TV producer with a missing daughter. (Trailer)

CBS

7: 60 MINUTES — Season 49 of this newsmagazine.

8: WISDOM OF THE CROWD — Jeremy Piven is a tech titan who creates a crime-solving social network. (Trailer)

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Gloomy Dream

While the dream is still fresh in my head, I need to write it down. I don’t believe it needs analyzed, I should probably just watch less ID channel before heading to bed.

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Ya Think?

hqdefault2 hours after eating
G: I’m still full!
Me: That’s because you had a piece of pizza, Big Mac, Nuggets, large fries, and a 32oz soda.
G: It was a Grand Mac.
Me: (looking up Grand Mac) 😐
G: Well now that you list it, it sounds like a lot.
Me: 😐 Ya think?

 

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Geoff Is Better Than Me

Me: Confession, this morning the fitted sheet came undone when I climbed back in bed. I pulled so hard that your side of the sheet popped off… afraid it woke you up, I quickly hopped back in bed and pretended to be asleep when I saw you stir a few seconds later and watched you fix it.
G: Well the other night, after we …, you fell asleep right in the middle of the bed on top of the blankets, the sheets and everything was all undone. I spent fifteen minutes trying not wake you as I gently moved you, covered you up, fixed the sheets… the blankets… and after all that, you got up to use the bathroom…
Me (interrupting): OH MY GAWD…. I GET IT, YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME!!!!!!!! 

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My Children Were Cute In The Wrong Era.
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Me and one of my previously little ham balls.

In all fairness, my kids are still “funny”, but it’s more in an intentional, “I can be Jerry Seinfeld” kind of way rather than “Kids Say The Darndest Things”. They are funny in the sense that they are grown and are able to write the funny on their social media sites instead of me getting all the glory.

This sucks on a platform of levels:

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Deep Thoughts… Gorillas and Kittens.

tumblr_lt65nkZT8G1qbcv93o1_500When I see pictures or videos of Koko, the gorilla, with little kittens, I think, “Awww, she’s holding a kitten!” I worry about her accidentally hurting the kitten, but all in all, I’m in awe, I’m touched, I see the connection she has with another mammal that’s not her species.

I then wonder, “When I’m playing with a neighborhood cat, or even my own, how many animals view me in the same way that I view Koko?” “Oooooh, look at that unusual animal holding that adorable, tiny kitten! It does have nurturing instincts! That’s so adorable, I hope it doesn’t hurt the kitten! By the way, why does that creepy animal only walk on two legs and is bald every where but the top of its head? Ewwww. We must scratch its eyes out and save the kitty.”

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Get off the computer… Stan!
Gawd, I can't do ANYTHING!

Gawd, I can’t do ANYTHING!

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Deep Thoughts… Amish

I’m sitting here on a Friday night, my son is in bed, my fiance is at work and as I was prepping to watch a ‘live’ television show that I recorded, a deep thought crept in my head, “I wonder what I’d be doing right now if I were Amish.”

Since it’s now nighttime and the oil would have been burning for a good hour and a half, I imagine I would have put down the needlepoint that continued after the chores were done and dinner was cleaned up. JP would still be in bed and perhaps Geoffrey would be gathered with the man folk talking about man folk things. Fortunately my week in the shed would be over with and I can now join my kin in the main house.

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